4 pounds; Big Deal!

MONDAY:

breakfast at 11am (store-bought)

• decaf coffee
• 3 skyflakes crackers (garlic flavor--love those little buggers)
• calamansi juice
• and lotsa lotsa water

I spied a digital weighing scale in a neighboring work station and happily skipped my way over and hopped onto the darn thing. Five seconds, and then, GASP! Heart in throat. Oh freak! The numbers on the screen boldly read 148 lbs. taunting me, daring me to gainsay it. What? So the coffee and the juice had sugar and the traitorous crackers had probably turned to sugar as well in the relaxing environs of my metabolism...but 4 pounds, this was madness! If this is what breakfast can do to me then my lunch will be absolutely devastating.

lunch at 2pm (home-made)

• half a cup of rice (whooppeedoo!)
• 1 mediu...average-sized...ok, fine large-ish chicken cordon bleu
• decided to skip the lemon-butter sauce as was really worried about the 4 lbs from breakfast
• agua, baby

i knew i shouldn't but i found myself wandering back to the digital weighing scale a half an hour later. This time the scale read 148.2 lbs. Huh? How could this be. My uneventful, lackluster breakfast was worth 4 lbs. while the lunch that I'd been looking forward to all weekend was a measly .2 lbs.?

Oh i get it, the damn thing is broken or at least in need of calibration. whew!

Dinner at 6pm (resto across office)

• half a chef salad with dried out grilled chicken bits and some gunky dressing that i suspected to be a truckload of mayo and mustard
• H2O

I had told my friend Joyce about weighing myself about 68 times that day and she said she wanted to weigh herself too. I led her to the offending equipment and watched her face fall (Joyce is VERY VERY weight conscious). "I gained 4 lbs?" she said in a soft, disbelieving voice. "I was 112 lbs. this morning now I'm a hundred sixteen?"

Haha, i was right! " That thing is off by 4 lbs." I said.

"Oh it is?" a guy named Mike piped in. "i was wondering about that, i thought I'd gained weight."

Thirty minutes later, another guy gets on the by-now-much-maligned-machine... i waited for it and was aptly rewarded... "Hah?!? Na-nambok ko? (i gained weight?)"

and this is just Monday....

Half-rice, please...

Ultimately, and as i have come to realize, if I am to lose 30 pounds in the next 5 months and a half, i am going to have to do some major changes in the way i eat. At this point, I laugh my crazy little head off. Watching what we eat is unheard of where I'm from. My family is best known for three things, two out of those three are cooking and eating what we cook. The last one, well, is fierceness--the bolo-brandishing kind that we all inherited from my Lola--but then again, that's for a different story.

Needless to say, dieting, for someone like me is a herculean task and one, i am sure, will be challenged on a daily basis. On the other hand, A little over 6 years ago, I lost 25 lbs. and hit my ideal weight of 105 . Of course i had also lost my job too, my only source of income, and therefore, had to adjust my lifestyle (i.e. no more eating at fancy restaurants) drastically. On top of that I had nothing else to do but finish off my gym membership.

Outside of being unemployed, that was probably the healthiest year of my life (mentally, physically, yada yada). I would run in the morning and go to the gym in the afternoon. I was eating more fish and vegetables simply because meat was expensive. But the clincher, i believe, was the rice. I wasn't consciously trying to eat less rice as much as I was consciously trying to extend the reach of my finances.

So, for this crusade, i figured that's where i would start. Cut the carbs and take it from there. Considering that i have about 5 months to do this, i would need to lose 1.5 lbs a week to hit my mark. I don't know if that's healthy or safe but it seems like a number I can live with. And how am i going to do this, pray tell? By practicing these words: "Half-rice please..."

Big effing deal, right?! But when you're Filipino, that's like saying "keep the change". It doesn't leave our mouths without catching in our throats like a wishbone.

So here we go; first week of pact-with-devil-type mission. Destination, 1.5 lbs lighter by way of half-rice.

Let's hope i can get those words out without choking on them first.

Because I said I would

As i embark on this precarious journey, a conversation i had with a former teacher comes to mind. We were at the pantry of our office bemoaning the fate of the written word and how it has been handed over to the maladroit hands of bloggers the world over. Afterwhich, therefore, we collectively (us and our evil multiples) decided that we would never succumb. "Why would we want everybody to know what we are doing?" We pondered.

And right there is precisely the reason why i am writing a blog--because i want the whole world to know that i am sick of being the "chubby" sister, Ms. oh-but-she's-got-a-great-personality, and having to tell myself over and over that "it's the inside that counts...". But before we call Oprah, i also have practical, albeit vain reasons; because there's a thin girl inside me that's just dying to wear a bikini or at least look good in short shorts and most of all, because shopping for clothes for big women is commercial- grade torture.

So, i made a proverbial-pact-with-the-devil type of promise with my best friend; I, who have been er, overweight for much too long, was to write about my long perilous trek down losersville and i was going to make it public to make it real. While she, who had recently gone rabid about running, was going to tell the whole world about it too.

Because I said I would, and because i have run out of excuses for being fat, here I am! I am going to (try and ) lose weight and come clean about it in public (whether or not i do or don't). Yes, it's a sneaky way to motivate myself but its's also a good excercise on personal accountability, which I would like to think, that I am big on (among other things, and yes, the pun was intended).

To end this, let me start with some vital info that this neo-blogger will endeavor to sink her teeth into while on this mission, while on this blog:


ideal weight: 105-110 lbs

current weight: 144 lbs (shame shame shame)

weight lost so far: 6 pounds since May 4, 2009

body type: big boobs, non-existent hips and saggy bottom

metabolism: fast as molasses

known physical activities: running at least 3 times a week (if it doesnt rain or if i'm
not bogged down by meetings)
walking 15 steps to the office pantry at least 5 times a day
walking to the ATM across my office building (approx. 70
steps) twice a week

diet: 3 square meals a day (with rice)
coffee once a day, decaf
the ocassional snack
and the occasional ice cream cone every 3-5 days

bad habits: mini pizzas and garlic sticks

best weight-gain excuse: my husband eats like a construction worker

worst weight-gain excuse: it's not me it's the pill

food weaknesses: pasta and cheesecake

challenges: repulsed by oatmeal and most cereals, feels ridiculous doing
tae-bo or hip-hop abs (or whatever the current areobic
excercise is), fear of being mugged while jogging or running,
have no idea how to count calories, don't know how to swim,
can't dance, loves to eat and adores restaurants